My pain, though, was for the suffering of my child, who experienced a most serious illness from 7 years old. The initial treatment lasted around 18 months; however, some of it may be lifelong, we pray not.
How can a child from a Christian family become so unwell or even go home early, as some do? How, Why? Maybe you are asking about your own illness.
These are very serious questions, and if you are asking them right now because of a current situation, I am deeply sorry you are going through this trauma.
When we went through these most traumatic times, just a few years ago, we knew other families going through virtually the same thing. One of those families was a Jesus-believing household, and the other was not. Both children from those families, aged 18 years old, did not recover from their illness.
I'll be honest with you. As a Christian for many years, I could not understand it. At first, in the earliest months, I simply prayed and was on my face prostrate more than I can remember. It was hard. It was hard for so many reasons. Hard because of this thing that has happened to my child. How could this happen? Hard because of having to deal with life generally. Hard because you have to deal with health professionals (to make sure your child is given the best care possible) and who are only human and make mistakes, and way too many. The health service has agendas that will compete with your own, and you must fight for the best for your child. You shouldn't have to, but you must. Hard because we also want to make sure our other three children are being loved and cared for fully, yet our primary attention has to be on the well-being of our son. It was hard.
This blog is about inspiring holiness; it is also about being honest. The truth is, after around 18 months of treatment, my faith began to waver. I simply could not understand how such a loving God could allow my child to go through this. I mean, this child has the most beautiful nature, and it seemed beyond cruel that such a thing could happen. In reality, on the ward, you see much younger children going through this horrible disease, many of whom won't make it through because they are unable to receive the best treatment, due to their young age. These things are hard to understand.
So, yes, my faith wavered, I began questioning and questioning God, and I could not find anywhere an answer to my question: why is this happening? As a Christian for around three decades at that time (another conversation), I was not new to this question of suffering. Though I do think a lot of the suffering in the New Testament seems to relate to persecution for Jesus Christ's sake, rather than having a serious physical/mental condition. I was close to turning away from God. I mean, if it were me it was happening to, I could handle it easier, though I would be incredibly hurt for my children if I were taken "early". I was close. I wrote a letter to my family, parents and sisters and brother in America, telling them my thoughts and feelings about my faith and God. I am the eldest of my siblings, and my eldest sister replied with an unexpected response.
Before I tell you that, I will say that I concluded that I would never know why this happened, or in fact, why any true believer suffers such great pain. I was suffering great anguish, mentally. I listened to a lot of sermons on the subject. I guess in the end it just seemed beyond cruel.
The Unexpected Response: "I'd rather have God on my side than not".
Why is this unexpected? Well, firstly, I didn't know she had a faith to speak of, which truly surprised me. The other surprise was that, for me, that was what I absolutely needed to hear in that moment; it was what stopped me from continuing to ask, Why? I think my sister meant it for the precise situation; I'm not sure, but since then, I think I have applied it to my whole life. I don't know if I can thoroughly articulate what I mean, the depth of that mindset.
We can see this mindset in (King) David as He starts his mission to remove Goliath, Please take a moment to read this excerpt from 1 Samuel, verses 32-47;
"And David said to Saul, Let no man's heart fail because of him; thy servant will go and fight with this Philistine. And Saul said to David, Thou art not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him: for thou art but a youth, and he a man of war from his youth. And David said unto Saul, Thy servant kept his father's sheep, and there came a lion, and a bear, and took a lamb out of the flock: And I went out after him, and smote him, and delivered it out of his mouth: and when he arose against me, I caught him by his beard, and smote him, and slew him. Thy servant slew both the lion and the bear: and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be as one of them, seeing he hath defied the armies of the living God. David said moreover, The Lord that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine. And Saul said unto David, Go, and the Lord be with thee. And Saul armed David with his armour, and he put an helmet of brass upon his head; also he armed him with a coat of mail. And David girded his sword upon his armour, and he assayed to go; for he had not proved it. And David said unto Saul, I cannot go with these; for I have not proved them. And David put them off him. And he took his staff in his hand, and chose him five smooth stones out of the brook, and put them in a shepherd's bag which he had, even in a scrip; and his sling was in his hand: and he drew near to the Philistine. And the Philistine came on and drew near unto David; and the man that bare the shield went before him. And when the Philistine looked about, and saw David, he disdained him: for he was but a youth, and ruddy, and of a fair countenance. And the Philistine said unto David, Am I a dog, that thou comest to me with staves? And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. And the Philistine said to David, Come to me, and I will give thy flesh unto the fowls of the air, and to the beasts of the field. Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied. This day will the Lord deliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. And all this assembly shall know that the Lord saveth not with sword and spear: for the battle is the Lord's, and he will give you into our hands."
I want to say at this point that I appreciate that this looks like a victorious moment, and it is, but it is not my purpose for mentioning it. As I read the scriptures regarding David, there was nothing remarkable about him that I can see, nothing. Except for his trust in God. We can reference various people from scripture, Noah - faith beyond faith, and even Jonah. He did not respond to God's call. Why? Because he knew that God was faithful. I don't recall that Noah wanted God to wipe out the people of the whole earth. I'd need to reread the story to be sure either way, but I can tell you Jonah wanted the people of Nineveh to die as non-believers.
We read a story in the New Testament, in John 9 and Mark 10, regarding the person who was blind since birth, whom Jesus healed. Jesus indicated that the illness was there to glorify God; John 9:3 Jesus answered, "Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him. I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world."
What I find interesting is what the blind man says to the council, in verses 31-33, l, We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly person who does his will. Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind. If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.”
This is a very interesting statement referencing that God only listens to the godly, those who do His will. I don't think that this means God only acts in the way we want Him to act when we pray, regardless of our level of faith. And I don't see that in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. I mean, as I write that, I feel reverence. How can we even dare ask God for anything? That He allows us to is truly incomprehensible. Thankfully, we have solid assurance that we can throughout scripture, but there is no solid scripture that our prayers will be answered.
However, there are some scriptures that can help us in our prayer life, James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
I will take a moment to say here, I left the Charismatic/Word of faith movement who use and apply texts regarding healing that to me appear to be relevant to the building of the early church. There are no apostolic miraculous sign gifts of healing being handed out to believers today. The only response they have as to why people aren't healed is that the Holy Spirit decides if they will have the gift of healing in that moment of prayer for someone. Therefore, it is very different to other gifts of the Spirit, where it is actually a gift given to that person. Sorry, it does not align with scripture. Yes, I believe in miracles, spiritual and physical. Our Incredible God will do as He likes. If you know somebody who says they can and do heal people, please let me know, although, truly, I would not go because it is likely to be an anti-Christ. Obviously, that DOES NOT mean I believe the Holy Spirit is not healing today. God heals who he wishes, when he wishes, righteous or not, and we should indeed pray for the healing of our family, ourselves, our brothers and sisters in Christ and others. I encourage you to do so daily.
For what it's worth, I lean towards a cessationist view as described here by Tom Pennington. It's important to fully understand what is and what is not cessationism. Indeed, by Jesus' stripes we are healed, for eternity, as we put our trust in Him. While that may not mean physically, given the choice, I'd rather have spiritual, eternal restoration with my Father.
There are a couple of thoughts I want to mention before I finish. Going through this helped me to see my children as His children. Namely, that every child and believer is just that, a child of God. Though we may be parents, our children are His, we are all children of the Most High God. 1 Corinthians 7:14 tells us that children of just one believing parent are considered holy to the Lord. I also agree with some brothers who believe children are not held accountable for their salvation until they are mentally old enough to be. For me, children of believing parents are born into the Kingdom of God, and I believe this is scripturally evident throughout the Old and New Testaments, though I also believe they must one day make their own confession of faith. I don't have to be able to understand something to read it in the bible. I agree with free will and predestination - both for salvation - I don't have to separate them. I don't have to be divisive on these contentious points of scripture, though it does bother me that I can't enjoy church membership unless I am.
Though there may be pain and suffering, he attends to each one of us. I can't deny it is tremendously hard when a child says, "why is this happening to me?" and there is no answer. My go-to response is that we are in a fallen world. Things are broken here, and things break. As I enter my 50's, that statement feels ever more real regarding my own physical ailments. It's difficult to think of a better response, though it may not completely answer the original question.
R.C. Sproul is one of my favourite Biblical teachers/preachers, and his discussion on God's will may be helpful for some. I believe there is a fuller sermon on this somewhere.
I have to believe more than anything else that the Lord God Almighty, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, shares across all humanity His benevolent love, for both the believer and non-believer.
1 John 4:16 tells us that "...God is love..." Romans 5:8 tells us "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
And John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
Psalm 145:9 "The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works." There is so much more I could write, but I'm on the verge of writing a book here, so I will just say that I find the book of Ecclesiastes points me towards God in all these things also.
I know for sure that for us believers, we are not alone in our suffering, God is with us, and indeed, He IS for us. Lastly, we know our final destiny is not of this world; Jesus tells us so in the Passion. He was crucified to make this so. He was despised, rejected, tortured, and murdered. He accepted that penalty for us, the penalty of sin being death. So no matter what stage you are in, please find some comfort and peace in knowing we have a Saviour who prepares a place for those who He knows, and one day believers will see their children and believing family members again.
Although I mentioned God's benevolent love, there is undoubtedly also a special love God has for His children.
This post has been a summary of my journey trying to answer the question posed and in trying to understand God, and my relationship with Jesus and the Father through the Holy Spirit in the midst of pain in this world. So, I am genuinely sorry that I do not have the perfect answer to the question I posed. However, in my journey I have become more sure of the Perfect Comforter, and that is my prayer for ALL of us who experience such trauma, whether it be because of our own health or a loved one's.
(NB: This article may be edited in the future)